No Sugar Tonight
Lake Placid, December 19–On the way to the NYSSRA season opener in Lake Placid, I, along with CW-X compadres Sproule Love and Todd Carter, was rockin’ to the popular Guess Who hit “No Sugar Tonight.” And, as it had for so many feather-earringed fawns of the ’70s, this song’s beefy refrains cast an eerily enchanting resonance upon me, as I struggled round the undulating biathlon loops at the Verizon Sports Complex.
Before the race, things seemed quite calm, like the far away riff of Celtic guitar that begins this rock ballad. The HP05 powder corked atop the F31 orange drew me across the snow like imagined leprechauns are drawn to the edge of fresh springs by Randy Bachman’s daintily teased acoustic guitar. I felt a sublime detachment there before the race, after all the finagling with ski reps, all the consternation over the Wax Maestro and all the rollerski laps around Central Park. At last, the race season was beginning! Amid the carefully panting men in tight suits, I felt my own dulcet splashes, as when a leaf, petal or thin chip is drawn to the falls of a pool and, circling a moment above it, rides on over the lip, perfectly ignorant of it all. But this lonely feeling I could not keep inside. The starter’s call drew me from a corner whence I could not hide.
There were thirty-nine of us Masters men, so getting out ahead with the double poling was more in the order of “Da-un-do-dow Dow-du-un-do-dow” than it was “Fa la la la la la la la la.” Nonetheless, Sproule and I managed to open a little space ahead of the field before the first of what would be twelve significant climbs on this course that reminded me of a long strand of schizophrenic spaghetti. Climbing these little steep beasts put a stress on my efficiency, tempo, and, eventually, my thighs. I’ve done plyometrics, rollerski hill sprints and a fair base of distance, but nothing replaces this actual experience of racing. I had forgotten the pain of V1ing up hill after nasty hill - but now I’ve gotten a valuable reminder to put sugar in my coffee and tea.
As the race wore on and the field became increasingly the backup chorus, it became something like a tempo ski with a familiar training partner. We talked of the relative paucity of windsocks in Lake Placid, as compared with West Yellowstone, how it felt as if someone had glued cinder blocks to our tired lungs, and of the poor M7 skiers whose poles we apologetically nipped in passing them up the hills. For a time, we benefited from the prior night’s work in a waxy, smoke-filled room in a corner basement. But just as the booming chorus of “No Sugar Tonight” speaks to the lack of something rather than its richness, I began to feel the Roy Rogers Gold Rush chicken sandwich creep up. I struck an unwelcome kinship to the modern day Cummings, Bachman and Vance Masters (an oddly appropriate name for this Canadian) and I commenced my haunting visions of bloated 70s rockers smiling through their graying beards on stages of Nebraska country fairs. I felt my own gut spilling over the wet, slowing snow. If the muse of nordic skiing had sussurated the way to sweet sleep, I had fallen from her skies.
As Sproule and I toiled up the twelfth hill, I had well moved to the next chorus of the song; again, a rather defeating one. There was indeed a “New Mother Nature takin’ over,” and he did just that with a couple hundred meters to go—I had nothing to throw at him but the aftermath of Biggie Fries; and though I wished for a redux of Alsgaard/Daehle at Nagano, this Love was clearly gettin’ us all. For him, I raise my bag of goodies and my bottle of wine for getting it right.